Jasmina
I want you to say it like
this: Yazz-mee-nuh Kawn-treh-vitch. Very good. You’ve
noticed already: I don’t talk like a Jasmina Contrevic. I talk like a Betty
Smith, a Shirley Martin, a Heather Warner.
Not all of the Serbs were
guilty. But bombs are indiscriminate. I was five, living on the outskirts of
Sarajevo. The night was cold. My parents left me home, for safety. I stood at
the window to watch them drive away. I felt the rush of air. They were
vaporized.
I
ended up in Bergen County, New Jersey with my second cousin. The trees were
bursting with color, and Laszlo’s backyard felt like a country estate. He
bought me a swingset, and we spent the afternoon putting it together.
Laszlo
was so affectionate, for such a long time, that I did not recognize when it was
that the line was crossed. Looking back, it was the introduction of the penis,
but at the time I suppose I thought of it as a new toy. At twelve, after much
painful effort, Laszlo put his penis inside of me, and it was then that the
triggers finally went off.
I
went to the library and scoured the biology section until I discovered the word
intercourse. If Laszlo continued, I
would have a child in my belly. I didn’t want that. Over the years, Laszlo gave
me little cash gifts. I took all that I had saved, plus the diamond engagement
ring that he kept in his dresser, and bought a ticket for Minneapolis.
I
ended up in Mill Valley, California, a dollhouse town guarded over by redwoods.
I work at the old moviehouse, where I take tickets, clean the theater after
screenings, and work the box office. But I think of myself as the popcorn girl.
Paul
It’s been raining for weeks. The hillsiders
are walking their perimeters, looking for signs of mudslides. Down here in the village, with our
asphalt and storm drains, we feel pretty safe. Although the corner by the Depot
is beginning to resemble a koi pond.
It’s
January, so I don’t expect shoppers, but the gray desolation is getting to me.
I hang the Back in 15 sign and walk a cigarette to the bridge.
Not
so much a bridge; the creek crosses under the road through a concrete tunnel.
I’ve seen kids hiking the tunnel in summer, and I’m a little curious about
where it ends up. Some of the bigger mysteries are right beneath us. I lean
over the railing and watch the water as it roils into civilization. It’s
downright river-like.
“Isn’t
it magnificent?”
To
my right is a white hood.
“Do
you ever picture a single raindrop falling into the water like a tiny kayak,
and the wild ride it must take before it reaches the Bay?”
I
take a drag and let it go – a stall tactic.
“Oddly
enough, I do. Only, for me it’s a raft. Like Huckleberry Finn.”
The
hood angles away, revealing a remarkable pair of eyes. Round as marbles, black
irises, glimmering in the faint light. She smiles.
“I love Huckleberry Finn.”
I
can’t speak. She glances at her cell phone.
“Oh
shit! Gotta go.”
She
crosses the street to the moviehouse. She takes off her jacket, revealing thick
black hair, falling to her shoulders in sidewinder waves. Egyptian princess.
Russian czarina. My cigarette burns down to my fingers. I flinch, and it falls
to the water.
Jasmina
Why do people find it so difficult to be nice? There are
certain (blonde, lazy) employees who expend large amounts of energy being
surly, acting like each customer through the door is another one-ton weight
upon her oh-so-frail back. People often tell me how pleasant I am, but really
I’m just taking the logical path. I am being paid cash money to engage people,
to be nice to them, so I embrace my role, and the day goes by much faster. And
here’s the key to the whole thing: I ask people how they’re doing, and then I
listen. You’d be amazed at how many people are desperate to talk to someone.
The
owner, Fosh, is a Persian man with a jowelly brown face. He reminds me of a
cinnamon roll. The rest of the staff is a little scared of him, but I just
treat him like another customer: I ask him how he’s doing. Sometimes the answer
is very long, and I have to remind him that I need to get to work. Fosh is
long-married, to a woman who looks like an ambassador’s wife. I’m betting it
was an arranged match. I’m betting he hasn’t had sex for years, and I’m betting
she does not ask him how he’s doing.
Tuesday
evening – very slow. An older couple. The man has silver hair, but retains a
bit of youth in his face: sharp features, blue-gray eyes. The woman is well-preserved,
but much of it is artificial: the $200 frost-blonde hairdo, the tight,
expressionless face. She looks bored. Most of the terrible stuff in the world
is perpetrated by those who are bored.
Fifteen
minutes into the movie, Mr. Silver returns, armed with a soda. He wears a gray
suede jacket, knit collar, very nice. He breathes a sigh and hands me the soda.
“I’m
sorry. Could I get a Diet Coke? I could have sworn she said regular.”
“Happens
all the time. How’s the movie?”
He
rolls his eyes. “Chick-flick. But I’m tough; I can take it. How are you doing
today?”
Ambushed
by my own trick.
“Slow.
It’s harder when it’s slow.”
“I
know precisely what you mean.” He
eyes my name tag. “Jasmina. Gorgeous name.”
“And
you pronounce it so well!” I snap a lid on his Coke and hand it to him.
“Lucky
guess. What’s the damage?”
I
smile (this being just the right time to smile). “Let’s just pretend that the
whole thing was my mistake.”
He
smiles back – a small smile, a little controlled. “You are a gem. It does an old man good to be served by a young
beauty.”
“Enjoy
your chick-flick. Take notes.”
“Oh
I will.” He laughs and turns to go. Ten feet away, he stops, comes back and
hands me a business card.
“Jasmina,
could you email me sometime? I have some business I’d like to discuss with
you.”
I
slip the card into my jeans pocket. “You’d better get back to your wife.”
“Yes
I’d better. ‘Bye.”
“‘Bye.”
Mr.
Silver lopes away. An hour later, I take a bathroom break and give the card a
scan: Anthony Francis, attorney, tax specialist. I envision my most recent trip
to the ATM, the drop in my stomach when I saw my balance. The Minneapolis
cushion is gone.
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